Category Archives: loss

(33)

this might be a disaster waiting to happen but I’ve been waiting for so long…..needed you to survive once….I erase my mistakes right after…I don’t hold on to bodies I never long for…I’m afraid to feel all the feels you once gave me. don’t touch me…don’t tempt me..how does it feel to be loved by you now? is it better? is it different?…you don’t like arguing that’s all we use to do I hold it all in & then boom!! you know that you know me …you know me ..like really know me … I don’t think I ever let someone see that vulnerability…you broke me & misplaced me…lost me somewhere in between distance & fear…

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(24)

someone to share your blessings with
someone to share your secrets with no judgement
someone who fights & you see it clearly
someone who accepts & understands
someone who forgives instantly
someone who knows when to control when not to
someone who can balance it out for me
sometimes I’m scared
sometimes I want to fall short just because I see you
sometimes you get upset but your anger isn’t what I’m use to
sometimes that’s scary too
sometimes I see them in you
I know I’m not worthy of your inconsistency
You are going to have to let me go because I won’t do it…
I won’t do it

Journal entry (1)

laying in bed beside my daughter & yesterday I saw my father & realize how much love can change someone’s life..
I never seen my father so excited & calm around anyone like he is around us & his good friend lady & friendship is so important…us women can build up a man or break them down we have that ability.. I watch this woman help my father through friendship & love now she is teaching me the same it’s so frustrating & inspirational…sometimes what she tells me makes me take a few steps back & look at myself she is truly a guidance… & she says I am teaching her too which is crazy because I don’t look at myself as any type of inspiration at times…I love to help people but I barely know how to help myself… recently I have been trying to heal a few things in my life or past life the wounds are still so new… Life is definitely difficult but it’s so worth it & everytime I see my kids I am honored to be a mother. God chose me to be a mother & what a beautiful thing that is & God chose me to love the people who allow me to be in their lives & I am so happy to be apart of this world so happy