I understand alone time
I understand not wanting to talk about how you are feeling at a certain moment
I understand boundaries
I understand balance
I see your scars
I see your heart
I see how you contradict yourself trying to convince yourself that you’re not ready for love when in reality you are just afraid that love will leave you again…
but you pushing love away will make it leave….
you denying love existing will allow it to not exist in your life no matter how much someone wants to love you… no one is going to allow you to make them your own personal punching bag …
they do not deserve it not being loved
& You deserve love so please let it in..
afraid that I’ll give my body away to someone that won’t understand that allowing you to have me after trauma is a battle every kiss , every touch , every time you dig deep inside me
I want to accept your flaws
I want to know you
I want to cherish every moment
I don’t want toxicity
I don’t want lies & deceit
I want truth & growing
I want acception & knowing
She will never love you because she has loved someone who has the same blood as you. He has felt her toss & turned inside her & left a mark. You’ve never kissed or made love but the way you look at her tells it all. He is in love with someone that doesn’t love him back & why does she have to be me. I’ve never been the one to break hearts but what I’ve done to you is like premeditated murder
I want to love you like I never loved anyone before I am taking my time to master it. I want to know you in to out every particle. The goal is to love you unconditionally. It isn’t impossible for me even if you make a fool out of me I’ll still be happy. If I love you how I’ll want to be loved that would be progress. I am easy to run , easy to not forgive & forget. I don’t want to love you conditional but the way God loves us unconditionally.
…isn’t it amazing how a horrible situation can turn into the best outcome…how this caterpillar of a man will be in this man made cocoon & God willing he will become a butterfly one day soon..
When we first met chills would run down my spine whenever I heard your name. I would get butterflies when I saw your face. Ladybugs would visit my front door.
How many times do I have to prove that your heart is safe with me?
Are you even trying?
I know I’m not what you’re use to but isn’t that why you came here..
Aren’t you the same man that said you want me in your life forever ?
Your actions aren’t showing that..
What has gotten you so afraid?
all your secrets are safe here
I am not here to judge you
I am not here to deceive you
I am not here to hurt you
I am here to love you genuinely
because when you love someone it is unconditionally
I have patience but it’s like I’ll be waiting for a maybe & though love is patience
It’s a difference between gaining your trust & proving my worth
The way you use your fingers to trace the corners of my thighs gripping the insecurities until they shatter When I hold my head on your chest I feel safe & when you say I am beautiful I feel it more than the depth of the sea I’ve been preparing myself for your departure the joy I feel never seems to stay long enough for me to break every wall cause there are days my walls remember being betrayed by someone they were so familiar to hold me close hold me close I just want to feel safe with you..