Tag Archives: mother

Post 4

People always ask me if I want another child & the thing is I don’t mind having another baby it’s just I have so much I want to do & I’m very limited already adding another baby before that 4/5 year mark sounds like alot of chaos….I want someone to be there as much as possible & love me inside to out all the bad all the good enough to stay & still I feel a beaming light shining regardless rather or not I’m wrong or right but you are gentle with me everytime….I want my children to witness that kind of friendship & love…. recently I heard someone I care about deeply express sometimes they can’t talk to me because I’m way too serious but I’m rarely serious in my eyes & my support systems aren’t stable so I have to be the serious one when it comes down to responsibilities…I just need everything to be okay…I want my plans to be achieved & I want to not have to worry

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(16)

I speak things into existence not believing it myself…
what if I told you I prayed for all sides of you to be revealed even sides I’m afraid of..
what if I told you I’m a light worker, you compliment the sun & your smile makes me forget my troubles
when you’re inside of me my scars heal , my heart gets weak & I surrender…
the thought of losing you brings tears to my eyes & I hate it…
have you ever felt like you were suppose to be somewhere for a reason & you don’t know why….well that is now…
my heart longs for you
my body craves you
but I’ll rather you walk away than stumble on your own heart
I know I’m not the only one who has loved you but I promise you I’ll be the only one to ever love you like this…

Journal entry (1)

laying in bed beside my daughter & yesterday I saw my father & realize how much love can change someone’s life..
I never seen my father so excited & calm around anyone like he is around us & his good friend lady & friendship is so important…us women can build up a man or break them down we have that ability.. I watch this woman help my father through friendship & love now she is teaching me the same it’s so frustrating & inspirational…sometimes what she tells me makes me take a few steps back & look at myself she is truly a guidance… & she says I am teaching her too which is crazy because I don’t look at myself as any type of inspiration at times…I love to help people but I barely know how to help myself… recently I have been trying to heal a few things in my life or past life the wounds are still so new… Life is definitely difficult but it’s so worth it & everytime I see my kids I am honored to be a mother. God chose me to be a mother & what a beautiful thing that is & God chose me to love the people who allow me to be in their lives & I am so happy to be apart of this world so happy

Post 1.

I had to reset my life. Mid last year I began loving myself whole not in pieces. I knew what I wanted & needed & knew what I had to do to make everything happen. Praying for healing while still being in chaos took resilience & hard work.People assume everything was good because I didn’t talk about much I shut alot of people out I once let in. Mainly because the ones closest to me was hurting me. I began to think about how much I would sacrifice & care about others more than I cared about my own struggles. July came around & I knew I wanted to be alone no outsiders but my two kids. Nothing change for a few months just misery traveled through the apartment I blessed into a home but there was days I felt trapped & abused. Days I felt useless & unloved. People would say they love me but I knew they didn’t love me just love what I could do for them. October came around & i realized that I can’t let the devil come into my life once again & destroy it. I decided to fight harder & so I did. It is as if I am unstoppable & unbreakable , kept pushing , kept smiling through the war.