afraid that I’ll give my body away to someone that won’t understand that allowing you to have me after trauma is a battle every kiss , every touch , every time you dig deep inside me
I want to accept your flaws
I want to know you
I want to cherish every moment
I don’t want toxicity
I don’t want lies & deceit
I want truth & growing
I want acception & knowing
In the midnight sun
I’ll cross the ocean just to return to you
If you were light-years away I’ll take that chance to be with you
this bet is worth the hand
this bet is worth the lost of any man I met after you
they can never compare
they are not aware of what I need
The wants never was important to me
though I want your body next to me every night I won’t find someone to fill that void but I’ll hold myself tight….tight enough to convince myself that these arms belong to you
We won’t always be this calm the sunset before night hits when regrets are at your front door begging to be
chosen. I believe we will always admire eachother.
When someone’s presence is enough that’s when you know.
When you can look at them in their eyes & feel that they geuinuely care about your well being that’s when you know.
I know within love it takes alot of work maybe so much that you feel like you’ll fail at it because people have always told you that you will never amount to anything but you mean everything to me.
I’ll pour my heart out & I’ll continue to pray for you.
I’ll continue to master self love to the core that loving you will look like heaven on Earth.
You don’t deserve anything less than the greatest.
You don’t deserve anything less than what you mean to me.
The only thing I want from you is your presence I’m telling you that’s enough…
I never felt it before this feeling when I see you smile I’m trying to make it my mission to keep it permanent. To be honest I’ve been hurt so many times by friends , family , relationships.When you gave your all & someone says it isn’t enough & when you find someone who thinks they are not enough your heart unfolds. You are like the safe to my haven the sea glass a wanderer so desperately wants to find.Its been a few months but after years of being taken for granted each day with you fills me up I am not starving for compassion , attention , respect. We are not perfect I know I am not I’ve been longing for love but words don’t mean anything if my actions lack maturity. I’m not always gentle sometimes my thoughts doubts everything I pray for. I pray for you sometimes when we are together I’ll look in your eyes & pray you stay. Yes I do see your potential because you see mines. I know sometimes you probably want to leave my mouth can be slick my mood can switch. I forget to fight through the war but that’s when I need you. I need you to lift me up & I’ll do the same for you. You awaken a side of me I never knew I had. If this is a lesson then let it be. I’ll never regret the day I met you. I’ll never not think of you.
I had to reset my life. Mid last year I began loving myself whole not in pieces. I knew what I wanted & needed & knew what I had to do to make everything happen. Praying for healing while still being in chaos took resilience & hard work.People assume everything was good because I didn’t talk about much I shut alot of people out I once let in. Mainly because the ones closest to me was hurting me. I began to think about how much I would sacrifice & care about others more than I cared about my own struggles. July came around & I knew I wanted to be alone no outsiders but my two kids. Nothing change for a few months just misery traveled through the apartment I blessed into a home but there was days I felt trapped & abused. Days I felt useless & unloved. People would say they love me but I knew they didn’t love me just love what I could do for them. October came around & i realized that I can’t let the devil come into my life once again & destroy it. I decided to fight harder & so I did. It is as if I am unstoppable & unbreakable , kept pushing , kept smiling through the war.